


No Need To Knock

by virgilsjourney (jenna221b)



Series: Sanders Sides Ficlets [3]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Roman is learning more, Roman's room, Virgil opens up, mental health, positivity, reaching out and helping, understanding each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 21:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11632515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenna221b/pseuds/virgilsjourney
Summary: Suddenly, Anxiety is in front of him, a crease between his eyes. “You’re feeling ‘unsure’,” he echoes, complete with hesitant air-quotes.Roman fights with his instinct to act affronted and storm away. Instead, he says, “I’m just a bit worried. About- about you, I mean.”He didn’t realise how easy it was to make Virgil look absolutely flabbergasted. His mouth gapes open. “Um, well, that’s…” He scratches the back of his neck. “New?”Emboldened by the lack of sarcasm, Roman continues: “Look, it’s just- you’ve been in your room. A lot. And, yes, I get it, familiar bubble yada yada, but it’s- I’ve noticed it’s been a bit. Much.”Virgil is biting his lip. “You noticed all that, huh?”





	No Need To Knock

Roman is incredibly nervous. It’s a feeling he’s been getting too familiar with- and of course there was that dreadful spike in Anx- _Virgil’s_ room, and ever since then it’s crept up more insistently than on average. 

“Uh, Roman?” Virgil’s voice is loud, with a slight echo, and Roman cringes at how he automatically flinches away. “I can hear you pacing a mile off, just come in, no need to knock or anything.”

Roman clears his throat and shifts on the balls of his feet, keeping himself in limbo, just outside of Anxiety’s room space. “I-uh- no offense, Hot Topic, but I’d rather stay put.”

He can practically hear Virgil’s answering eye roll. “Of course, I know the doom and gloom is a bit much.”

“No! Well- yes, sometimes, but I meant-” He scrubs underneath his eyes in paranoia, but there’s no eyeshadow. He gathers a bit of courage. “I’m feeling rather...  _unsure_  and I think going in your room would... heighten it. That is- I don’t want to put you to any trouble.”

Suddenly, Anxiety is in front of him, a crease between his eyes. “You’re feeling ‘unsure’,” he echoes, complete with hesitant air-quotes.

Roman fights with his instinct to act affronted and storm away. Instead, he says, “I’m just a bit worried. About- about you, I mean.”

He didn’t realise how easy it was to make Virgil look absolutely flabbergasted. His mouth gapes open. “Um, well, that’s...” He scratches the back of his neck. “New?”

Emboldened by the lack of sarcasm, Roman continues: “Look, it’s just- you’ve been in your room. A lot. And, yes, I get it, familiar bubble yada yada, but it’s- I’ve noticed it’s been a bit. Much.”

Virgil is biting his lip. “You noticed all that, huh?”

It still floors Roman how shocked Virgil can sound. “Look, Patton and Logan noticed too but they- they didn’t want to push you. And- and neither do I but-” He sighs. “I don’t like the thought of you cooped up in there when you don’t want to be.”

Virgil blinks. He makes a quiet humming noise, very similar to when he revealed his name, and Roman doesn’t really know how to react. He sounds  _anxious_ , there’s no other word for it, and the last thing Roman wants is to make things worse.

“Listen, I was only wondering if you’d rather visit my room for a bit?”

He almost laughs at how Virgil’s mouth immediately drops open again. He scoffs, but Roman is beginning to recognise when it’s just a front. “Is that a request or a demand, Sir Sing-a-Lot?”

“An invitation.”

Virgil rubs his temples in thought. “Not that I’m saying  _no_  but... aren’t you concerned about what might happen?”

Roman tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

“Well, what if I ruin it? I don’t know what’ll happen, what if I start....um, turning the walls black or melting your Disney posters or-um-”

Roman shrugs. “You didn’t worry about us messing up your room, why should I?”

Virgil pauses. “True, but... but what if-”

Roman cuts him off with an extravagant hand-wave. “Trust me, if my room starts looking like a Dementor’s hit it, I’ll send you packing.” Then, at Virgil’s panicked look, he adds: “I was joking, Virgil. It’ll be fine. Besides, if you could conjure up more Nightmare Before Christmas posters, that’d be flippin’ sweet man.”

Virgil half groans, half laughs. “Nice try.” He swallows. “Alright, then. Okay.”

Roman grins. A few seconds of concentration later, they’ve both traveled to his room. Virgil sways a little at the sudden movement, and looks around, eyes wide.

Roman twists his hands behind his back and once more feels a rush of nerves. “What do you think?”

Virgil sucks in a breath. “It’s very...” His eyes squint a little at the white walls, the red tapestries, the many many Disney posters in gilded frames. “Loud? Not- not in a bad way just not- uh, it’s fine, just not very me. I mean, I can appreciate it, but-”

Rather than be insulted, Roman decides to rescue Virgil from his own rambling. “I get it. Just like I can appreciate the grunge aesthetic in yours, but it’s not a style I’d go for myself.”

Virgil actually starts giggling. “Oh my god, are you serious, the  _‘grunge aesthetic’_?! Well, I was definitely right about your Disney posters.” 

He laughs again, and Roman notes that the sound is much louder and relaxed than normal. He freezes. He actually hadn’t considered if the room would have any effect on Virgil. 

“How are you feeling? If it’s not- if you don’t like it, you can leave, you don’t have to-”

But, Virgil waves him off. “Nah, I’m okay. It’s actually quite... nice? Weird but not bad weird.”

“Oh.”

Virgil snorts. “God, your face. Don’t sweat it, Roman, it’s not nearly as dramatic as you’re making it out to be. I just feel a bit-” He shrugs. “Lighter?”

Roman suppresses a sigh of relief. “That’s... good?”

Virgil smiles. “Yeah.”

By unspoken agreement, they both end up just lying down, backs on the floor. Roman watches as Virgil’s eyes flicker over his posters again, and one finger starts tapping on the floor. He stifles a chuckle as he realises Virgil is silently counting them.

Eventually, Virgil breaks the silence: “You were right, by the way. Thanks.”

“Hmm?”

“I was feeling a bit-uh-how to...” Virgil’s voice trails off as he thoughtfully clenches and relaxes his hand. Then, as if hit by a brainwave, he puts the clenched fist on top of his chest. “Kind of like there’s a rock on my chest. And it’s hard to breathe past.”

Roman takes his time thinking of a reply. Virgil has never been this open before, and he is desperate to take this opportunity to actually _understand_. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Virgil rolls his eyes- but Roman realises it’s a self-deprecating movement. “Oh, big news, that’s how I roll. I didn’t want to bother you all with it, so I just-well- stayed away. And, big surprise, that made it worse, but it also made it harder to-”

“Go out of your room?”

Virgil nods. His clenched fist shakes a little.

“I’m sorry,” Roman says. “It doesn’t sound fun.”

Virgil sighs. “Try frustrating. At least, when it’s a situation, I get it, fight or flight, whatever Logan said, but when there’s  _nothing_  to actually  _do_ -I-” He sighs again. “It’s like...um...” His eyes search around the room once more, and finally land on a Broadway poster of The Lion King. “Like, you know, pre-performance nerves for a play. Except the play isn’t actually happening. And you’re stuck there on stage waiting for the curtain to go up, except the curtain’s never coming up, because there is no play, and you try telling yourself that, but you stay there because some part of you is screaming that the curtain  _might_  still rise and uh- well, wherever that metaphor was going.”

Roman repeats Virgil’s words in his head. It strikes him that he took the time to describe something in a way he could really grasp. 

“Thank you. For... trusting me enough to tell me.”

Virgil doesn’t reply. He takes his hand off his chest, and folds his arms behind his head.

Say something, Roman thinks. Come on, you’ve seen the movies. Advice time.

“I suppose... this way, you don’t have the extra worry of having to solve a situation? I mean, there’s nothing there, no uh... monster to slay.”

Virgil’s lips twitch in amusement. Roman hurries on:

“At least, you can tell yourself that you know there’s  _nothing_  there to fight this time. Maybe that’d help you get... off-stage?”

Virgil is smiling. “I guess. You know, surprisingly, you are making sense.”

“Should I be offended or flattered?”

“Both.” Virgil turns to look at Roman. “Hey... thanks. This was- one of your better ideas.”

Roman snorts. “Don’t hurt yourself on that compliment.”

“I mean it. Thank you, Roman.”

They lie there in comfortable silence, until Virgil actually stands up, and suggests finding Patton and Logan, just to talk. Roman chalks the whole thing up as a success.

**Author's Note:**

> also on tumblr: https://virgilsjourney.tumblr.com/post/163506133635/no-need-to-knock


End file.
